上週公司找了網路公司的人來做 training，課程雖然乏味，但是在他們的舉例中看到了這支短片。這是該網路公司的死對頭 MSN 所做的 project，主題叫做 Bring The Love Back。這支影片主要想表達的是廣告人跟消費者之間的關係已經瀕臨崩潰了，如果廣告人再用自以為是的思考模式來跟消費者溝通，這段關係將會劃下句點。而這當然不會是一支傳統的電視廣告，它是一段隨你下載傳閱的網路影片（還有個 blog），讓全球的網友一同見證這段廣告人跟消費者之間的孽緣該如何收場。我衷心希望大部分還在線上的資深廣告人，還有懶惰的 AE 們，能夠好好看一看、想一想（不用擔心英文看不懂，因為下面有翻譯），到底網路公狗應該怎麼作。
Advertiser : Hey there... Long time no see. Looking good!
廣告人：哈囉... 好久不見，氣色不錯嘛！
Consumer : Yeah… Let’s just keeping it simple. I want a divorce.
消費者：是啊... 就開門見山吧！我想要離婚
Advertiser : What? Now?
廣告人：啥？現在？
Consumer : I think you heard me just fine.
消費者：我想我說得很清楚了
Advertiser : Come on! This is me. What’s wrong?
廣告人：別這樣，說說看，怎麼了？
Consumer : We don’t talk anymore.
消費者：我們根本就沒話聊了
Advertiser : I just put on a million commercial on TV just to talk with you.
廣告人：我才花了幾百萬做了電視廣告，就是要跟你談心啊！
Consumer : Exactly! You do all the talking. I don’t even have a chance to...
消費者：是啊！但是說話的都是你，我連個開口的機會都...
Advertiser : Talk on the website, can’t you?
廣告人：你可以在網路上反應，不行嗎？
Consumer : Sure, if I want to say “order this product.”
消費者：可以啊！但只有在我想買東西的時候你才會理我
Advertiser : See?
廣告人：可不是嗎？
Consumer : It’s not exactly a dialogue.
消費者：那根本就稱不上「對話」
Advertiser : What about the print campaign? Hmm? You can’t tell me you miss the billboard in Time Square. That was like a 200 foot tall declaration of love.
廣告人：那平面廣告你怎麼說？別跟我說你沒看見時代廣場上那個看板，少說有兩百呎高的偉大愛情宣言
Consumer : You’re saying you love me, but you’re not behaving like you love me. It’s not genuine.
消費者：你嘴巴說你愛我，但你的行為並不像愛我，那並不是發自內心的
Advertiser : I don’t know. The agency said I was genuinely being funny, genuinely being charming. They say you will love everything I gave you.
廣告人：這我可就不確定了。公司的人都說我是發自內心的幽默、發自內心的迷人。他們說，不管給你什麼，你都會瘋狂地愛上我。
Consumer : Would you keep your voice down? We’re not doing a radio commercial. Look! Whether you’re funny or not, it’s just I’ve changed. And you haven’t. I mean, we don’t even hang out the same places anymore. And you’re not even listening, are you?
消費者：你可以小聲一點嗎？我們可不是在錄廣播廣告。我才不管你幽默不幽默，總之，我已經變了，但是你沒變。我們連鬼混的地方都不一樣了... 而你，根本沒在聽吧？
Advertiser : Coupons! You want coupons, don’t you? Look! Come by the store, I got two words for you. Loyalty production! Peew! Am I right? That was it, wasn’t it? Let’s just hug!
廣告人：折價券！你想要折價券，對吧？好吧！來店裡一趟，我有好康給你 – 會員積點專屬禮！我猜對了吧？就這樣囉！沒事了，來抱一下吧！
Consumer : If you knew me, you’ll know I don’t care about that.
消費者：如果你了解我，你該知道我才不在乎這些
Advertiser : Know you? Sweetheart, I know everything about you. You’re 28 to 34. Your online interests include music, movies and laser hair removal. You have a modest but dependable disposable income. Am I the only one getting a problem here?
廣告人：了解你？寶貝！我太了解你了。你今年28... 到34歲。上網的興趣是音樂、電影，還有雷射除毛... 你的收入算中上，但消費習慣趨於保守。難道這些全是我的問題嗎？
Consumer : I’m out of here.
消費者：夠了，我要閃了
Advertiser : Oh, come on! Don’t be like that! Alright, I tell you what! Come back here tomorrow, I’ll give you the chance to win a Bahamas vacation. It’s a small chance! Miniscule but technically still a chance. Might be like the old days!
廣告人：喔，拜託！別這樣嘛！好吧，聽好了，如果你明天回心轉意，就有機會獲得巴哈馬的旅遊假期。機會難得喔！雖然機會難得，但是搞不好中獎的就是你！唉... 像以前那樣不是很好嗎？
Advertiser : Hey there... Long time no see. Looking good!
廣告人：哈囉... 好久不見，氣色不錯嘛！
Consumer : Yeah… Let’s just keeping it simple. I want a divorce.
消費者：是啊... 就開門見山吧！我想要離婚
Advertiser : What? Now?
廣告人：啥？現在？
Consumer : I think you heard me just fine.
消費者：我想我說得很清楚了
Advertiser : Come on! This is me. What’s wrong?
廣告人：別這樣，說說看，怎麼了？
Consumer : We don’t talk anymore.
消費者：我們根本就沒話聊了
Advertiser : I just put on a million commercial on TV just to talk with you.
廣告人：我才花了幾百萬做了電視廣告，就是要跟你談心啊！
Consumer : Exactly! You do all the talking. I don’t even have a chance to...
消費者：是啊！但是說話的都是你，我連個開口的機會都...
Advertiser : Talk on the website, can’t you?
廣告人：你可以在網路上反應，不行嗎？
Consumer : Sure, if I want to say “order this product.”
消費者：可以啊！但只有在我想買東西的時候你才會理我
Advertiser : See?
廣告人：可不是嗎？
Consumer : It’s not exactly a dialogue.
消費者：那根本就稱不上「對話」
Advertiser : What about the print campaign? Hmm? You can’t tell me you miss the billboard in Time Square. That was like a 200 foot tall declaration of love.
廣告人：那平面廣告你怎麼說？別跟我說你沒看見時代廣場上那個看板，少說有兩百呎高的偉大愛情宣言
Consumer : You’re saying you love me, but you’re not behaving like you love me. It’s not genuine.
消費者：你嘴巴說你愛我，但你的行為並不像愛我，那並不是發自內心的
Advertiser : I don’t know. The agency said I was genuinely being funny, genuinely being charming. They say you will love everything I gave you.
廣告人：這我可就不確定了。公司的人都說我是發自內心的幽默、發自內心的迷人。他們說，不管給你什麼，你都會瘋狂地愛上我。
Consumer : Would you keep your voice down? We’re not doing a radio commercial. Look! Whether you’re funny or not, it’s just I’ve changed. And you haven’t. I mean, we don’t even hang out the same places anymore. And you’re not even listening, are you?
消費者：你可以小聲一點嗎？我們可不是在錄廣播廣告。我才不管你幽默不幽默，總之，我已經變了，但是你沒變。我們連鬼混的地方都不一樣了... 而你，根本沒在聽吧？
Advertiser : Coupons! You want coupons, don’t you? Look! Come by the store, I got two words for you. Loyalty production! Peew! Am I right? That was it, wasn’t it? Let’s just hug!
廣告人：折價券！你想要折價券，對吧？好吧！來店裡一趟，我有好康給你 – 會員積點專屬禮！我猜對了吧？就這樣囉！沒事了，來抱一下吧！
Consumer : If you knew me, you’ll know I don’t care about that.
消費者：如果你了解我，你該知道我才不在乎這些
Advertiser : Know you? Sweetheart, I know everything about you. You’re 28 to 34. Your online interests include music, movies and laser hair removal. You have a modest but dependable disposable income. Am I the only one getting a problem here?
廣告人：了解你？寶貝！我太了解你了。你今年28... 到34歲。上網的興趣是音樂、電影，還有雷射除毛... 你的收入算中上，但消費習慣趨於保守。難道這些全是我的問題嗎？
Consumer : I’m out of here.
消費者：夠了，我要閃了
Advertiser : Oh, come on! Don’t be like that! Alright, I tell you what! Come back here tomorrow, I’ll give you the chance to win a Bahamas vacation. It’s a small chance! Miniscule but technically still a chance. Might be like the old days!
廣告人：喔，拜託！別這樣嘛！好吧，聽好了，如果你明天回心轉意，就有機會獲得巴哈馬的旅遊假期。機會難得喔！雖然機會難得，但是搞不好中獎的就是你！唉... 像以前那樣不是很好嗎？
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