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Nicky, Brian, Christmas Eve, Princeton & Kate Monster

上次介紹 Avenue Q 竟然已經是快一年前的事了,真是太怠惰了。但我最近發現心情不好的時候聽 Avenue Q 是很有那麼點療癒作用的。因為,不知道是什麼樣的機緣巧合,發現Avenue Q 的中心思想跟魯迅的阿Q正傳有那麼點殊途同歸。阿Q是一個失敗的人用扭曲自己思想的方法來自我治療,Avenue Q 是一群社會邊緣人發展一種扭曲的觀點來看待這世界上的一些怪現象,但最終都讓人獲得一種精神勝利的感覺。

譬如說,在「歡迎光臨Q大道」中談到的,當你覺得人生很衰洨的時候,環顧四周,永遠可以找到你比更衰洨的人。或者,在「如果你是假的」裡一派天真地挖掘著出櫃不出櫃這種事的兩種面向(假象?)。還有「色情網路18禁」裡,更大剌剌地揭示 internet is for porn 這個網民們心照不宣的共識。

的確,很多事情被端上檯面了,其實也沒什麼大不了,但他們就是那麼政治正確。比如說在美國,談到種族議題,最好不要抱持開玩笑的態度。在台灣亦然,只是我們的問題不是種族,是族群。而且,就算我們不在乎對方的出身,也還是會用各種標準幫身邊的人分門別類。高矮胖瘦長相言行年齡背景星座血型教育程度婚姻狀況甚至單雙眼皮,我想,在這個世界上,每個人的確都是有點種族歧視(並且被歧視)的,it’s true!

 


EVERYONE'S A LITTLE RACIST


 

Princeton : Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?(凱特, 借我問一下)

Kate Monster : Sure!(說)

Princeton : Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?(你認識樓上的崔奇獸吧?)

Kate Monster : Uh huh.(嗯哼)

Princeton : Well, he's Trekkie Monster,(他是崔奇獸)
  and you're Kate Monster.(而你是凱特獸)

Kate Monster : Right.(是啊) 

Princeton : You're both Monsters.(你們都是獸)

Kate Monster : Yeah.(沒錯)

Princeton : Are you two related?(所以你們是親戚?)

Kate Monster : What?! Princeton,(啥? 普林斯頓!!)
  I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!(你太讓我失望了, 竟然種族歧視!)

Princeton : Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!(咦? 歹勢, 我只是問一下)

Kate Monster : Well, it's a touchy subject.(哼, 這是個敏感的話題)
  No, not all Monsters are related.(不, 我們一點關係都沒有)
  What are you trying say, huh?(你在暗示什麼嗎?)
  That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?(是說我們都長得很像嗎? 蛤? 蛤? 蛤?)

Princeton : No, no, no, not at all.(不不不 不是這樣的)
  I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist.(不好意思, 我可能有點種族歧視了)

Kate Monster : I should say so.(我就說嘛)
  You should be much more careful(下次你應該要小心一點)
  when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race.(在講到有關種族的話題的時候)

Princeton : Well, look who's talking!(ㄟ, 你這樣說對嗎?)

Kate Monster : What do you mean?(什麼意思?)

Princeton : What about that special Monster School you told me about?(還記得你說過的獸性特教學校嗎?)

Kate Monster : What about it?(怎麼了?)

Princeton : Could someone like me go there?(像我們這種不姓獸的人可以入學嗎?)

Kate Monster : No, we don't want people like you-(當然不行, 我們不收你們這種人)

Princeton : You see?! You're a little bit racist.(看吧! 你也種族歧視!)

Kate Monster : Well, you're a little bit too.(哼! 你自己也是!)

Princeton : I guess we're both a little bit racist.(我想我們都有點種族歧視)

Kate Monster : Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...(要承認卻有點難以啟齒)

Princeton : But I guess it's true.(但這是事實)

Kate Monster : Between me and you, I think(在你跟我之間, 我想)

Both : Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes.(每個人都難免種族歧視)
  Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes.(但不表示我們會去殘殺異族)
  Look around and you will find(環顧四周你就會發現)
  No one's really color blind.(誰不是都戴著有色眼鏡)
  Maybe it's a fact we all should face(也許我們該面對現實)
  Everyone makes judgments based on race.(每個人都對別人的出身有點意見)

Princeton : Now not big judgments,(但也不是很嚴重的哪種)
  like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from - (至少面試或買報紙的時候不能看不起某些人)

Kate Monster :No!(的確)

Princeton : No, just little judgments like(只是在一些小地方, 像是)
  thinking that Mexican busboys(嘲笑開公車的老墨)
  should learn to speak goddamn English!(英文實在有夠破)

Kate Monster : Right!(沒錯!)

Both : Everyone's a little bit racist Today.(誰不是有點種族歧視呢?)
  So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay!(既然每個人都一樣, 就無所謂)
  Ethnic jokes might be uncouth(種族玩笑當然有點不得體)
  but you laugh because they're based on truth.(但你會笑, 還不都是因為是事實)
  Don't take them as personal attacks.(別把它當作人身攻擊)
  Everyone enjoys them - So relax!(大家都喜歡這樣的, 放輕鬆吧!)

Princeton : All right, stop me if you've heard this one.(好的, 那你有沒有聽過一個笑話?)

Kate Monster : Okay!(說!)

Princeton : There's a plant going down(有架飛機要墜毀了)
  and there's only one parachute.(只有一付降落傘)
  And there's a rabbi, a priest...(但是機上有一個猶太牧師, 一個傳教士, 還有...)

Kate Monster : And a black guy!(一個黑人!)

Gary Coleman : Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?(你在供沙小! 凱特!)

Kate Monster : Uh...(ㄜ...)

Gary Coleman : You were telling a black joke!(你在開黑人的玩笑嗎?)

Princeton : Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.(嗯, 是啊蓋瑞, 但很多人都愛開黑人玩笑...)

Gary Coleman : I don't.(我就不會)

Princeton : Well, of course you don't - you're black!(你當然不會, 因為你是黑人啊!)
  But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?(但我想你會嘲笑那些東歐佬吧?)

Gary Coleman : Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!(當然啊! 那些笨東歐佬!)

Princeton : Now, don't you think that's a little racist?(難道那就不是種族歧視?)

Gary Coleman : Well, damn, I guess you're right.(馬的, 好像是這樣耶!)

Kate Monster : You're a little bit racist.(你有點種族歧視)

Gary Coleman : Well, you're a little bit too.(你自己還不是一樣)

Princeton : We're all a little bit racist.(我們都有點種族歧視)

Gary Coleman : I think that I would have to agree with you.(我想這點我必須認同你)

Princeton/Kate Monster : We're glad you do.(很棒, 你接受了)

Gary Coleman : It's sad but true!(這很鳥, 但事實如此)
  Everyone's a little bit racist - All right!(每個人都有點種族歧視, 又怎樣?)

Kate Monster : All right!(又怎樣)

Princeton : All right!(又怎樣)

Gary Coleman : All right!(又怎樣)
  Bigotry has never been exclusively white(又不是只有白人才能偏執)

All : If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit,(只要我們都能承認自己有點種族歧視)
  Even though we all know that it's wrong,(就算我們都知道這樣不對)
  Maybe it would help us get along.(搞不好反而能讓我們和平共處)

Princeton : Oh, Christ do I feel good.(喔! 主啊! 我覺得舒坦多了)

Gary Coleman : Now there was a fine upstanding black man!(那可是個傑出的黑人代表)

Princeton : Who?(誰?)

Gary Coleman : Jesus Christ.(耶穌基督啊)

Kate Monster : But, Gary, Jesus was white.(但蓋瑞, 耶穌基督是白人)

Gary Coleman : No, Jesus was black.(不, 他是黑人)

Kate Monster : No, Jesus was white.(不, 他是白人)

Gary Coleman : No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black -(不, 我很確定耶穌基督是黑人)

Princeton : Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!(各位... 各位... 耶穌基督他... 是個猶太人!!)

All : (laugh)(狂笑)

Brian : Hey guys, what are you laughing about?(嘿! 大家在笑什麼啊?)

Gary Coleman : Racism!(種族歧視)

Brian : Cool.(酷喔!)

Christmas Eve: BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!(小布, 給偶回來珠顏回餿)

Princeton : What's that mean?(她在說啥?)

Brian : Um, recyclables.(嗯... 資源回收)
  Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?(嘿! 別笑她 你會說幾種語言?)

Kate Monster : Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist.(喔拜託 小布 每個人都有點種族歧視的)

Brian : I'm not!(我就沒有)

Princeton : Oh no?(沒有嗎?)

Brian : Nope! How many Oriental wives have you got?(沒有! 難道你有把過黃種妹嗎)

Christmas Eve : What? Brian!(啥? 小布!!!)

Princeton : Brian, buddy, where you been?(小布老兄 你傻了嗎?)
  The term is Asian-American!(要說亞裔美籍)

Christmas Eve : I know you are no intending to be.(我知道你不是故意的)
  But calling me Oriental - Offensive to me!(但是叫我黃種妹 讓我很不爽)

Brian : I'm sorry, honey, I love you.(抱歉啦 親愛的 我很愛你的)

Christmas Eve : And I love you.(我也愛你啊)

Brian : But you're racist, too.(但你也種族歧視啊)

Christmas Eve : Yes, I know.(是的 我知道)
  The Jews have all the money(錢都被猶太人賺走了)
  And the whites have all the power.(權都在白種人手上)
  And I'm always in taxi-cab with driver who no shower!(我坐的計程車司機老是不洗澡)

Princeton : Me too!(我也是)

Kate Monster : Me too!(我也是)

Gary Coleman : I can't even get a taxi!(我根本叫不到計程車)

All : Everyone's a little bit racist. It's true.(每個人都有點種族歧視 真的)
  But everyone is just about as racist as you!(每個人的種族歧視都差不多)
  If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit,(只要我們肯承認我們都有點種族歧視)
  And everyone stopped being So PC(不要再那麼政治正確)
  Maybe we could live in - Harmony!(也許我們就可以和平共處)

Christmas Eve : Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!(沒個人都有點種豬啟事~)

 

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CHEER.chou

cheerchou 發表在 痞客邦 PIXNET 留言(3) 人氣()


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  • pinky
  • 阿你去澎湖旅行了ㄇ?
    個人認為
    心情不好的最佳良藥
    就是到一個陌生的地方走一走~
    保證讓你神清氣爽^^!
    加油
  • 歐凱特
  • 珠顏回餿.... 種豬啟事... 哈哈哈

    這真是一種很不錯的阿Q心態呢,真開心~
  • 席
  • 我之前就一直想問你"PC"是什麼意思,原來是政治正確啊,謝謝啦,請繼續寫,希望有一天我可以看到"For Now"!!
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